230. Salad Mondays

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GUSTO’s INSALATA di AVOCADO e ASPARAGI

Oh, hello Salad Monday. Thanks for being here. It’s nice to see you after a weekend filled with German bratwurst from Bierhaus, tacos from Tacombe, and late night pizza from La Famiglia. Just wanted you to know that Jason Bateman is also a fan.

*Note to self: Ask Mr. Bateman if that’s a beer he’s drinking with his salad. If so, I’m all for Salad Mondays. Also, find out what kind of toilet paper he uses. I bet you it’s something fancy like Quilted Northern Soft & Strong.

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218. Kost

Ikea

Attention New Year’s Resolutioners…Resolutionaries…whatever you’d like to be called. If your plan was to ditch those extra pounds before spring wedding season then I’ve got the diet for you. It’s new. It’s easy. And all you have to do is find your nearest Ikea. That’s right folks, for a mere trip to the land of overpriced Swedish furniture you can enjoy a cheap, fresh, and healthy meal that will have your Weight Watcher friends drooling.

I find it hard to always choose the healthy option, especially when living in New York City, the land of amazing restaurants and specialty bakeries like Schmackaray’s (don’t get me started on their Maple Bacon Cookie) and Alice’s Tea Cup. That’s why I found myself at Ikea yesterday (ok, really it was because I desperately needed a slim dresser for my tiny bedroom). But, once I heard my stomach growling, I knew it was time for some famous Ikea Swedish Meatballs. Looking at the menu, however, I realized that ultimately, I didn’t need to eat 15 meatballs served with mashed potatoes, cream sauce, and lingonberries. But it was only $3.99!

Then I had a brilliant idea – the kids menu. Of course! That way I could eat a few of my favorite meatballs (5 in total), get a smaller portion of mashed potatoes, and add a salad bar for greens and volume. I grabbed some fresh fruit and Chobani yogurt (latest obsession) for snack later and opted for a bottled water instead of soda. I found that I was more than content with my selection and I had a balanced meal in front of me.

Here’s what could await you the next time you decide to buy and build a Hemnes Shoe Cabinet:

Ikea Diet

Or you could just show up for lunch. Or dinner. Or breakfast. Ikea’s got it all (starting at just $.99)! Plus, when you’re done, you’ll have more energy to pull down those boxes that weigh more than you do from the rafters. Just don’t blame me when you get home and spend 5+ hours looking for the one screw that’s missing from the box. At least you got a healthy meal out of it!

In case your wondering, here’s how my “shoe cabinet” (aka “everything that doesn’t fit in my closet” cabinet) turned out:

Hemnes

*Note to self: Call Ikea to ask about possible spokesperson opportunities. Let them know that I’d be happy to travel around the world in the name of meatballs and a hefty discount.

**In case you’re wondering what Kost means. It’s Swedish for diet.