272. Oscars, Baby

If you thought the Oscar-nominated films were good this year, wait until you see the child parodies:

*Note to self: Find a kid and make him/her a child actor.


224. I Understood Your “I Beat Meryl” Reference, JLaw

Any chick that references First Wives Club and She-Devil (two of my favorite movies that have been known to be on repeat in my iTunes library) in an interview is worth knowing. Hence, Jennifer Lawrence. I wasn’t particularly thrilled with Silver Linings Playbook (don’t get me wrong, it was entertaining, I laughed, and my entire family gave it a thumbs up, which is rare) but I didn’t find the film as a whole to be Academy Award worthy. That said, I have to agree with Jezebel on this one. JLaw is definitely like your BFF – only she has a coveted gold statue. And it’s probably chilling somewhere sufficiently random like in her bathroom or buried in her backyard garden with only Oscar’s shiny head sticking out. Wherever she puts him, he’s lucky to be her most special BFF. Too bad he doesn’t have a Twitter account. That would be awesome. I hope Jennifer Lawrence is hungover somewhere in LA today, eating lots of In-N-Out. She deserves it.

JLaw Falling

*Note to self: Send JLaw a “Thinking of You/Best Wishes” card.

I can relate to what it feels like to trip up the stairs at a black tie event. It happened to me while I was “being presented” (yes, weird, who does that?) my senior year of high school as part of National Charity League. When I got to the stage, I tried to make a joke of it by laughing and bowing. Unfortunately, no one actually witnessed me tripping because the spotlight hadn’t reached me yet. So, the audience just thought I was bowing for myself. Plus, I was basically wearing a wedding dress by Jessica McClintock. Ironically, my best friend (and her mom) reminded me of this moment today:

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78. Appalling!

Ok, we all know that Heidi Klum and Seal have split, but someone needs to give this girl a cheeseburger (or three).  I’m sure she’s always been thin (hello, she’s a supermodel) but this is just disgusting and wrong on so many levels.  In a time when I thought Hollywood was finally recognizing women for their work (rather than their disappearing waistlines), I was disappointed to find this image of Klum on Peoplestylewatch.com with this caption:


“Single never looked so good! A post-split HeidiKlum makes a smokin’-hot solo appearance at Elton John’s star-studded soirée.”

Are you freaking kidding me!?  My eyes bulged out as I practically counted every vertebrae in her back.

And what’s up with Angelina Jolie’s arms (or lack thereof)?  I know the media is on a frenzy about her leg pose during her Oscar presentation, but I could care less about her strut on stage.  This is a time when I would say “What am I supposed to tell my children?  That it’s okay to look like this?”  Granted, I don’t have any kids, but I hope Americans don’t think this is attractive or healthy.

I’m gonna go eat a hot dog and feel happy that I can’t see my bones.